Musicality

I've recently been called "musical" by someone, which made me think... I have not really considered myself a musician, nor a singer. In my opinion, singers are people who don't just sing occasionally, but individuals who primarily entertain or amuse others with their voice, be that traditional singing or other vocalizations that are not speech, award-winning or not quite opera-ready. In much the same way, I believe that musicians are only people who primarily entertain others with their playing of instruments, whether they are drums, jaw harps or computerized synthesizers. Again, I don't distinguish here between particularly virtuous performances and crappy spoon-playing, they both count. The key here lies in the fact that it's their primary activity. Doesn't matter if you are getting paid for it or have a day job that keeps you going and you busk on the street for change afterward. If people know you for making music "all the time", you are a musician or singer.

People don't know me as that. I don't sing to people. Nor do I play an instrument in front of anyone but me. I am many things to many different folks, but not a singer. Now, if I don't consider myself a singer in the traditional sense, that would explain why I am so hesitant to label myself as throat singer or Khoomeiji. What puzzles me is why I have no quarrel telling people that I am an overtone singer... like that is somewhat lesser than just a singer... which I am not... hmmm

The whole need for labels, names and categorizations seems odd, but it's part of my life and that of many others, so I don't see a need to fight it.

I suppose, if I ever met someone whom I respected as a Khoomeiji and demonstrated my skills, I would leave it up to them to label me "beginner" or whatever they think. And that in turn, I would proclaim publicly. Alas, I have yet to sing something live to anyone with any expertise whatsoever, and I'm beginning to feel rather alone...

I feel sorta phony, like I don't belong, really, and like despite all my efforts I will never succeed in being part of a select group of individuals whom the world considers throat singers. Weird feeling, that. Sorta like deja vu, but in reverse, like it's all not real and nothing really happened despite me thinking it did.

That sounds negative, and maybe it is, however, it's these negative thoughts and the shortcomings I face that challenge me to aspire to bigger and better things, to constantly improve and grow beyond what I am now.

I am stretching my musical legs. I am learning theory and memorizing chord tables and studying how additive FM synthesizers work different from subtractive ones. I am practicing harmonies and keys, exercising my lungs and throat (for vocals) and my fingers (for keyboarding). I am experimenting with rhythms and filtering sounds dynamically to see what "clicks" with me. And it's too much. Too much at once.

I am like a nuclear chain-reaction that nobody draws power from, the water wheel that nobody harnesses to grind grains into flour. Can anyone wield me besides myself? Hmmmm

I'd like to quote Edgar Allen Poe:

"Shadows of shadows passing.
It is now 1831, and as always, I am absorbed with a delicate thought. It is how poetry has indefinite sensations, to which end, music is an essential.
Since the comprehension of sweet sound is our most indefinite conception, music when combined with a pleasurable idea is poetry.
Music without the idea is simply music. Without music or an intriguing idea, colour becomes pallor, man becomes carcass, home becomes catacomb,
and the dead are but for a moment motionless. "

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Comment by Christopher on June 27, 2011 at 3:34pm: ...performer? (-;

I think that "overtone performer" (as well khoomei peformer and so on) sounds more neutral and natural for people who work with various overtone vocalizations, producing from time to time something, that is called... music.

Recently I found funny name for overtone singing "instrument": mouthphone, but the mouth is translated as a common word (boorish but not vulgar), like mug or muzzle or phiz, something around.

Comment by Dan Zimmermann on June 27, 2011 at 8:42pm: Well, I wasn't exactly hinting at being unsure what to call myself because of the variety of vocalizations that I can produce. Just that I don't think I should consider myself primarily a Khoomei singer, since nobody's heard me sing and can attest to me actually doing it.
I once had a talk with a friend regarding the band Bugotak, which he called quite cool, but not quite throat singing. I disagree, I think it is throat singing, albeit perhaps not Khoomei in the traditional sense, or not as refined as say Chirgilchin or Alash, but definitely throat!
So I am definitely artistic, just not primarily, definitely vocal, perhaps not a performer

Comment by Dan Zimmermann on June 27, 2011 at 8:47pm: perhaps practitioner is more accurate, since I don't actually perform

Comment by Christopher on June 28, 2011 at 1:48am: :-D

Silent Performer (-;

I would say "soundworke"r, but this beauty word is not translated as single name to my native language (only long descriptive way - "a person/someone who works with the sound"). Recently, someone asked me what I do, and I said - "working on solo choir performance" (-: I'm a little bit stuck with a long-song project, but this is the part of learning; confronting sonic beliefs with multitrack reality and discovering how to go beyond stuckness, whatever it is. But I'm not complaining. Taking a break - maybe, but not complaining.

On your place, I would not worry about words and descriptions. In fact - you don't know what you are capable of; occasional situation will tell you, not your beliefs. To many people - you are probably a singer just because you can produce a melodic tone, whatever it is. Trust me; it works that way in many other professional areas too. Over 90% of overtone singers/performers probably feel alone. Instead of explaining yourself - just accept that you are becoming what people tell you about you. Feel comfortable. Feel the pro singer to become one. Don't eat the mircophone (-;

Some time ago I wrote to myself a "to do" list.

1. Can I simplify the recording process? What I have, and what I need more to do so? [yep, even some small gadgets like a handy mini stand can simplify the work]. What are the real sonic parameters of environments available to me here and now? [yep, helps to overcome oversensitivity].

2. Can I simplify the creating process? How I make "variated" projects, and how can I reorganize it, to make them faster or just better? What about loops and samples and their multitrack relationships? What about understanding the project structure and order? How much loops and samples, notes and rhythmic patterns I need to cover certain amount of time or idea?

Did it helped? Yes. Mistakes come from habits in thinking. I realized, that I don't need to be a musical geek to do something. Now I'm incorporating my "to do" list, step by step.

Many wonderful things - are a matter of technique, not force. If you understand/recognize the proper technique and your habits, then you can get your results without any big effort; just by systematic and simple work. Create your own exercises, based on observations of what is natural. Mouth positions, throat positions, tongue positons, levels of tension and relaxation, shifts and progresions within your body. Even touching the theory of music - just gently touch it, not eat it. Play with it to find the essence. Step by step.

Comment by Dan Zimmermann on June 28, 2011 at 7:59am: Good encouraging words... I was merely puzzling over semantics anyway, not really worrying.

The basis for the thought was whether musicality and artistic expressiveness are co-dependent. A person who is musical may not be able to play instruments or sing or even tap their foot in rhythm, they may just appreciate music a lot. On the other hand, a person does not have to be particularly gifted or artistic to successfully produce music by vocalization or instrumentation. I bet one could program a computer to arrange musical notes in a way that it produces passable music when played back, that doesn't mean the machine is creating or expressing itself.

I have practiced the guitar years ago and came to the conclusion that my hands are simply not made to depress strings onto a fretboard cleanly, so I abandoned it. Since then, I have met dozens of men with all kinds of differently-shaped hands and fingers who all could play tunes well enough to like... I still prefer keyboards. But it got me thinking...
I can use a computer. If my friend can't, I can show him how. If he can but it's broken I can fix it. I can drive my car over there, if it breaks down, I can fix it. If I get attacked by wild animals, I can defend myself. So can my friend. My friend is a farmer and knows not how to use or fix a computer, doesn't really understand the workings of the internal combustion engine or a differential gear and goes most places on horseback. But he can play the guitar well, despite not knowing about harmonics, overtones, sheet notation or vibration modes. Heck, he can't tell you which string plays which note even, but he can play a song he heard on the radio after trying a few times...

Who's more musical?

Comment by Christopher on June 28, 2011 at 12:43pm: Consider this.
In XXI century modern music - making music is only a part of music.

Ability to make and organize projects in which you put your music - is also a part of it.
Ability to play or perform for other people (live or virtually) is also a part of it.
Ability to make/compose new melodies and ideas is also a part of it.
Ability to promote yourself and do some marketing (like you do right now) is also a part of it.
Ability to adjust and adapt to new circumstances (expand sonic horizons) is also a part of it.

Yes, you are like most everyone else on this world. Common, average, ordinary. And yet, at the same time - you are unique.

You would not know that you are common if there would be no internet, no mobiles, no wolrd wide network. Over 6 billion people on this planet; what do you expect? (-; Patterns of similarity are everywhere, placed in homogeneous way, they make coherent carpet of varieties. On the other hand - you are the seed of variety on your part of this world wide carpet. You are unique among your friends and many people you encounter. So as your friend, the farmer.

Making music is feeling the music. Calculating music - is (but does not have to be) a part of expanding the horizons of habits.

I have some friends, who can play really wonderful, multiinstrumental, top quality, even better than folks like Jarre. On the other hand - you won't hear about them. They are good. But not on the market. You are on the market. Compensation factor.

And by the way - whatever technology you use to make what you do - it's just an extension of you; of your body, of your consciousness. Like your hands or legs or mouthphone or everything else. Did you know, that it is very easy to cheat your brain and tell him, that your computer IS literally a part of your physical body? Brain creates a kinesthetic image of you for you, and you identify with it; but this image is not solid.

Comment by Dan Zimmermann on July 23, 2011 at 9:06am: Yes, encouraging words, indeed. You get me, which is unusual.

I agree most strongly with the last paragraph. Since I use digital equipment to make music almost exclusively, that IS my instrument. I put as much of myself into the programming of the sequences as I feel. I manipulate velocity and modulation on several levels to fine-tune the synthesizer's "performance". It's much more than just playing a tune on a recorder and then putting effects on it, looping it, slicing and re-arranging it. I am result-oriented. I "hear" the music within myself, then I try to reverse-engineer it somehow so the parts make the whole that my mind "heard".

Just this week, I have learned so much new stuff that I am a little staggered, but no worry, I am keeping a grip on things. I have mentioned an old song I did long ago, but never quite finished it. I re-opened the project, actually re-creating it from scratch. I am not using old patches (which are lost) or samples from the original mono composite recording, which sounds quite lo-fi. It's all new, totally re-engineered from memory and by listening to the one solitary existing recording of it. And it's going well. It's quite a daunting task, since there are so many different, slightly varied melody patterns to program, and some chords will receive final tweaking once I am done sequencing, but it's actually progressing quite nicely.

I can hardly wait to publish this one. It will be a big step towards being an actual recording artist by MY definition.